Lonesome stranger

LOST IN THE DARKNESS
CRYING OUT WAITING FOR DEATH TO SHOW ITS DREARY FACE
LOST IN THE DARKNESS I WAIT
FOR THE SUN TO SHINE THROUGH THE DUSTY WINDOWS OF MY SOUL
LOST IN THE NIGHT
THE ETERNAL DARK ABYSS OF LONELINESS
AWAITING MY SORROWFUL FATE
THEY DIE HAS BEEN CAST
THE CARDS DEALT
MY EYES ARE OPEN
YET THE DARKNESS CLOUDS WHICH WAY IS UP
MY EARS ARE LISTENING
BUT THE WATER MUFFLES THE SOUNDS
THE WIND BEATING AGAINST MY FACE
FREEZING ALL INSIDE
THE FINAL SCREAMS UNHEARD
AS I FADE INTO THE BLACKNESS
LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND BLEEDING OUT
ONE LAST TIME.....
SOMEBODY SAVE ME...........

Kryptonite

Wherever we go
whatever we do
ill be here right next to you
where ever we walk
whenever we talk
no matter how far away
im still here

I cant fly....into your arms
i cannot run to save you from harm
i cant see through this translucent wall
all i can see is green as i
close my eyes

MY WINGS ARE BROKEN
My eyes are blind
my legs cant walk
as my body dies
ive tried to fly away from this home
that gives me pain
that i cant ignore
i cannot give all that you need but here i am
as my body bleeds
on the ground... my prayer releives
as i watch the green fade to black
and all my pain............is gone with my breath

Lost and Found

Lost in the darkness I scream
For the light to shine
Through the dusty windows
Of my soul

Laying here in the night
I cry myself to sleep
As the dreams of terror
Rip through my skin

The shining stars from up above
Make the whole world
Seem so small
And all else fades to black

When all this time I feel its ending
I cant stand that I keep pretending
Of all those times I tried to die

But on my horizon I can see
The sunshine rising over me
Because you’re the one who has made me
Half the man that I should be

One and Only Savior

You have called me by name
And I am yours
Yet in the dark of the night
The storm that flashes
Deep inside
Cuts wounds in my skin
I can no longer hide

The pain I feel
Has become real
All I see and all I do
No matter what its all for you
All this blood that stains the ground
All these tears that come down
Make me feel
Make the world seem so unreal

In the darkness I do pray
For this to end one day
When I come home
And walk through your doors
Let all else
Become no more

Savior

painful cries
of fear and longing
always bring me back
to what has been lost
but its always darkest before the dawn
and still i sit here waiting
for the light to shine
still waiting in the darkness alone waiting
waiting to feel someones hand
and a voice saying
i love you
for who you are
what you will be
i love you becuase your you
because you bring a smile to my face
waiting in the night for someone..
waiting for the chance
to just get away
to get out
to go home
to feel like i belong
why is it that everytime
i come around out of the shadows
i fall back inside
why cant i just stay in the light
why cant i destroy the one thing ripping me apart
its so hard to talk to the two people
that gave me my life
my home
my sisters
why cant i just show my weakness
why cant i show the real me
people wonder why i am so angry
can i tell you where im at
can i show you the other side of me
will you run away if you see me
i feel the darkness pulling me deeper and deeper into nothing
if i could say one thing
it would be that i love all of the people around me.
and everything that they have done for me
and i will always be eternally greatful
but i can see my future looking bright
but i see my present in the darkness trying to find the light
and i cant do it alone...
so lost in the darkness i cry out
screaming till my lungs give out
save me

Just Untitled

Today i stand up
for all that remains
what lies ahead
is not a dream
but what is behind us is a memory
haunting us night and day
the fog bank moving in
like a silent killer
searching for a soul
and yet as the day ends and the darkness swells
i dwell in the house
of the lamb

Welcome to emotional reality

anger
fierce fire
flowing in my veins
fear
cowardice tears
running down my face
joy
sweet smiles
loving embrace
depression
dark thoughts
scars made on my own
love
phantom tickle
bubbling inside
hate
evil thoughts
decision of anothers fate
sadness
sleepless nights
painful stares
broken
lost and alone
confused on your own
passion
the fire in her eyes
as our love dies
goodbyes
painful
stolen
welcome to reality

Another Untitled Poem From The deptsh OF My HeArT to The Stem of my brain that bleeds out on paper.

Heres my goodbye to you
the only way i know how to do
these soft butter fly kisses that float in the sky
makes a man feel like hes going to cry
so i write you this melody that will tell you some day
the memories of us that led me astray

I wrote you this lullaby to tell you goodbye
but in the end i broke and started to cry
now all that falls on this empty page
are the teardrops that i have held in till today

I love you with all of my heart
as i try to crawl out of this miserable part
i feel like its ending my death request pending
alone in this fight
in a cold dark night

Come to me my angel and take me away
lets drift through the skies that are cold dark and grey
i wanna dance in the pouring rain
and try to forget this pain
and maybe feel you this time

my love for you is like a burning fire
an inferno of this desire
maybe im going insane
but all i know is that there is only one thing
that i can do
ill always love you

What is love

This thing called love
boils in my veins
it throbs in my mind
gives me sever chest pain
yet what is this love
how is it described
is it a thing an emotion
a feeling
is it deeper
deeper than the rivers of blood
flowing deep into the center of my body
is it darker than the past
as clear as the present
yet as hazy as the future
what is it that makes my heart do back flips
what makes my knees go crazy every time i see you
why is my stomach playing hackie sack with my gallbladder
why is it that every day of my life seems like a nightmare
why do you stalk my dreams
why do these feelings make me feel as if you love me
why do i fall for these nightmares
these sweet dreams
these mangled feelings
why do they hide
why do i put on this facade
why do i fake being ok every minute of every hour of the day
why has this love taken its toll on me
who am i to know if this night will finally break into the dawn
when will i be taken from this eternal twilight
when will i leave this world behind
when will i be able to tell you how i really feel
what is love?
who is love?
she is love.
they call her love

I feel so alive

Healing the broken hearted
he binds up their wounds
counting the stars
naming them all.. one by one
Great is he and mighty is his power
I look to you oh Lord
i cry to you my God
I thank you my sweet sweet savior
You have called me by my name
and i am yours
you have stitched me together
made me the way you intended me to be
you have given me the breath of life
in through my nostrils
and out through my mouth
you gave me life
you gave me love
just as you gave adam love
and i am eternally yours
irrevocably in love with my Lord
My God
And the Holy Spirit

Read Plead and Bleed

Ive had it with these sleepless nightmares
these lifeless days
the sunless haze
ive had it with this painful night
this cold bright light
the frigid night
ive had it with your loveless goodbye
this endless fight
to live or die
i cant get enough of your endless love
unconditional from above
i cant get over it
your gift to me i willingly receive
so here i am today
dying
so i can live
so i can breath
so i can love
so i can read, plead, and bleed

The Lovely Door

I find it hard to hide
every tear i cry
ever scar. i try
i find it hard to cry
when ever night
my veins do. and still i try
this past it haunts me
confusing love taunts me
finally the tears begin to fall
i take it with my all
these ducts that bleed
make me see
the light behind the door
and here i come
one more time
and fear is gone
forevermore.

Omnipresent Poetry

Why have you forsaken me
I come to you in times of need
My God please take me
To you i plead
Oh Lord Don't let me be
To you I bleed
Don't forget me
This silence drives me
Insane. with pain
Let your words be heard
So i can no more take your name. in vain
Did you hear him.
That whisper
In the wind
The shiver
Hidden beneath my breath
Did you hear him
Calling out to us
Beckoning us forward
Away from this omnipresent darkness
You call my sin
Away from this hate and torment
Away from the devils snare
But still in silence we hear
His evil words so loud and clear
These sights he places
Right in front
That bring us to our knees
And here i am again to plead
My God.
Why have you forsaken me?

Shred

death
cold dark eternal
unhappiness
ripping at your heartstrings
shredding your every hope
of your masquerading knight in shining armor
to come and save you
is gone
But comfort still exists
in a shell inside the abyss
waiting to be opened
waiting to be set free into your heart
to make you feel
make you real
make you heal
its like the tingle of the electric eels
grab my hand
and i will
promise
the life you deserve
just lay your head
upon my breast
and let me breath into your heart
love
let it PUMP
into your veins
fill your body
remove your pains
i will whisper in your ear
comfort you in times of fear

Bring Me To Life

Dreaming
Lies
Defiant eyes
burning through my skull
Sheer PAIN
all in vain
consciousness.. dull
words spoken
bones unbroken
peace. be still
dreaming dead
lifeless flies the souls eyes
breaking forth a new dawn
silent wind
burns my skin
bringing me to life
with out strife
i drop the knife
hands free
feet soar across the open ground
falling dreams
ive died it seems
you catch me
and bring me down
breath of heaven
hold me together
bring me to life

Free Style

Who am I:
for this broken heart to be healed
for these wounds to be bound
who am i to have a god
that counts all the stars
and still know them by name
who am i that deserves a father
that pardons me of all of my sins
who am i that can be held so tightly
and never miss a beat
who am i to belong to one
whos heart is so pure
so loving
so big
so omnipresent
who am I but a child of God
Do i deserve this faith
Do i deserve this home that i can look forward to
Do i deserve him
Who am I
to be so loved
to be so weak
who am i but an idea
from Gods own grace
Who are WE
to deserve such a righteous father
who are we.
what are we
who am I
truth is
im ready to say goodbye
but only when its time
to die
i love you
my God
I _NEED_ you
I *WANT* you
who am i but a simple man
laid out on this earth
by you.. with a plan
but a small pawn in this greater game
of life
I am YOURS
forevermore

Pause

its time to rise and shine
with sublime Rhyme
let the poetry flow
to and fro
bleeding out of
Heaven above
Cry out my child
this wind is mild
but scalds the skin
i feel you deep within
carved in the writings
hidden beneath my skin
etched upon my heart
healed by your whispers
hidden in the dark
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
silence
pressing forward
breathing deep
running hiding
finding
dying
steal my breath
deep inside this omnipresent guest
sleep i find
goodnight
lost in my mind

Good Morning

I cannot write
these words jumbled in my mind
find time to hide
i feel so alive
and yet i strive
to realize.
how alone this world is.
how afraid i am.
how long has it been?
these words that hit the page
i swear to you all they are the same!
as you hear every day
every time you walk away.
the voice in our head
telling us no
pushing us farther
on where to go.
i try to find and hide and lie
awake
but still the night catches me
and still i do not wake
good morning
to mourning
good bye to delight
good morning to night
good bye to fright
hello my lord
is it my time
to come to you
just one more blink of the eye
and yet i abide
by these rules and still i find
nothing new
only you.

Psalm 147

Psalm 147
1 Praise the LORD.
How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

2 The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the exiles of Israel.

3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

4 He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.

5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

6 The LORD sustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.

7 Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving;
make music to our God on the harp.

8 He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes grass grow on the hills.

9 He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.

10 His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of a man;

11 the LORD delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.

12 Extol the LORD, O Jerusalem;
praise your God, O Zion,

13 for he strengthens the bars of your gates
and blesses your people within you.

14 He grants peace to your borders
and satisfies you with the finest of wheat.

15 He sends his command to the earth;
his word runs swiftly.

16 He spreads the snow like wool
and scatters the frost like ashes.

17 He hurls down his hail like pebbles.
Who can withstand his icy blast?

18 He sends his word and melts them;
he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.

19 He has revealed his word to Jacob,
his laws and decrees to Israel.

20 He has done this for no other nation;
they do not know his laws.
Praise the LORD.


This is my favorite psalm.
no matter what i always find comfort in it.
when im near breakdown
when im crying, angry, and just plain fed up with everything
every time i read this passage its like a weight is lifted off of my shoulders.
it makes me cry not tears of pain but of relief, love, and something else that is just so euphoric that i cannot explain.
this poem is dedicated to the one who has saved me and the people who helped me along the way

Healing us in times
of broken hearted rhymes
of solemn serenity
binding our wounds
with nothing but his hands and his
heart beats faster than wild drums
his breath fills my lungs
and his words
yes his words
fall from my tongue
his will pushes me
even though i do sin
i find it hidden
deep within
to push on
and sing praise to his holy name
his love is unfailing
he takes delight in my fear of him
and makes the waters flow
I sing praise
and all the people say
amen.

I'm No Superman

wind speeds through my hair
out of the atmosphere i soar
through the clouds
if only a dream
as real as this
could be so true
but yet still to be
a dream
i fly with these kryptonite wings
weighing me down
draging me farther toward death
weakness i cannot over come
Im no superman

-untitled once again-

Dead silence creeping in and out of controll
contorted into screaming pleas of help
that holds in this darkness we call our pain
our sin.
but listen
every so softly in the distance you hear
singing
ringing
loud and clear
you run
but your feet cannot keep up with the rolling floor
as you trip stumble and fall
back into darkness
dragging along this frightful memory of the melodies that were being sang
and as you struggle to find the light you hear them
whispering your name
silence suffocates the room and you find it harder to breath
screaming and running once again feet falling behind
pushing yourself to the breaking point
and you feel it
the warmth
pulling you closer
holding your hand
pulling you away from the ever present dark silence
and you feel him
pouring his love
burning every inch of your body
and mending every scratch cut and bruise upon your beautiful flesh
and he holds you tightly and whispers into your ear once again
just the three soft words a father would say to his child
I. Love. You.

I am Gone

Broken hearted
i cry
left alone on this cold floor
to die.
Abandoned i cry to fly
away
let me live a lie
just one more
day
and when i awake from this cold hard slumber
ill find my mind
a confused
blunder
Letting it all
bleed away
written love on my arms
i am still waiting
to feel your warmth
your hug
your cooling breath
whispering in my ear
and yet this crimson rivers tear
and fall flat upon this
bed frame
and i close my eyes.
Good Bye.
And he cries out
STOP THIS WRETCHED MESSS
i will show you that im the best
to hold you
to comfort you
to steal away your pain
and to hang it on my cross where my body has lain
and i will wait day by day
just standing right beside you
holding you
and you will know
That I am God.

Manly Man.(BH)

I don't want my long hair
pretty green eyes with
no I do not have on mascara
Eyelashes
Skinny figure
Undersized T-shirt

Hip
Shake
Too
Much
when I walk

Confuse anyone...

I am a Manly Man!

Within this sissy frame
obviously rib laden chest
lies a heart
that beats

to the drum of a
Native American ritual dancing
wildness

It pumps an evercascading suppy of untamedness
that a herd of wild mustangs have yet to grasp.

If danger lurks about, I will seek it out.
If adventure abounds, there I will be found.
If a damsel be in distress

I will show her who is best.

I am a Manly Man!

Because I don't flush
and I leave the lid up.

I drive a nineteen
eighty-eight
Ford Pick-up truck.

Girls don't break up with me
I break up with them first!
(except the last time, it didn't really work out that way)

I don't shave the hair on my face
(because there really isn't any,
but when I can grow hair I won't shave it.)

Because beards are tough.
I fart
burp
spit
when I want

Not caring who is nearby

Disrespect my momma
and I will punch you in the eye!

I am a Manly Man!

Or am I?

I tell my guy friends that I love them.
And sometimes, I even hug them.
No I'm not gay.

I just love them.

When I watched Bambi
I cried.
When my mema gets mad
I still run and hide.

Like David I want to be a man after God's own heart.
I'm not there yet, but I'm past the start.

And when people talk
I try to listen
a spirit of compassion
That's my vision.
Surely I am a Manly Man
I want to be loved
and have love
and give Love.
(and not just that romantic kind either)

Although I am looking for that beauty
Not helpless
But wants to be rescued.
The Damsel in distress
Man
Woman
Myth
True.

I will fight for her.

Climb the highest tower for her

Love her.

Share with her.

Delight in her.

Be her warrior.

Her protector.

She will be my crown
and I will be hers.

My Masculinity will be passed down
and affirmed to my sons.

Each of my daughters will know they are lovely
and deserving of authentic romance.

Society tells me all day long

That I have defined manhood completely wrong.

But you ask any honest man and he will agree
You ask any honest woman and she too will see

That I am a Manly Man!

Bradley Hathaway

Untitled prayer to the night of numb tears that cease to grow and cut off all life inside the empty enigmatic abyss of poetic sorrow and love trapped.

Silence.
...
..
.
..
...
poetry flowing from nowhere
onto nothing.
absent
lost from sight
mind
music. fading away
leaving me empty.
alone
broken
Leaving me to dream
alone in this nightmare
As the cold strikes my skin
my naked skin
as crimson rivers flow
the waterfalls cease
the numbness growing
like a tree in the ground
untitled, meaningless words
drip onto the paper
falling slowly from my fingertips
music getting louder
waterfalls beggining to flow
crimson rivers stain and cease
and the night moves on.

untitled

Its just one of those days

blood rushing to my finger tips

as i bleed.

hiding the pain i scream

inside this silent enigma..

of my mind

Forgive me if i am in the way

i just cant see how..

how its always them all day

i can't see now.

im trying so hard

to find

my calling

i hear it abroad

is that mine

or am i just falling

as i leap away

from this ship

from night

to day

where has the time gone

where is my feeling

why am i so numb

who am i

where are you.

Goodnight.

Forever

My love.

Jesus Christ.

MY savior.

Has been in my life for exactly one year 9 months. and one day

why do i keep track.

it helps me remember that i accepted him

he didn't force me to him

he didn't rip the blade from my hand

he didn't beat me and trick me to comming to him

he just walked right next to me

day by day he got close and closer and pushed me in the right direction

just a little nudge

just so i could hear the words

God. Loves. You.

Jesus. Died. For. You

They. Want. YOU!

so here i am

one year

nine months

and one day later

alive.

breathing

coping

dragging on

elevating

failing

growing

hoping

INTOXICATED

Joyously

Kindly

lovingly

mocking

neglecting

overcoming

praying

quarreling

rasslin'

Sins

Trying

Under

Various

WEakness

Xylophones music

your

zoo.

JESUS I LOVE YOU!

TUЯИ UP TĦΣ MUSiC ♬ ♫ ♪ ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♪ ♫ ♬

Can you hear it

the beat of the bass

the wild hum of the horns

the whistle of the woodwinds

can you hear it

the beat of my heart.

given to me by none other

that my Lord and Savior

that breath that God

ever so lovingly

breathed in

and out

straight into my lungs

can you hear it

the music of nature

the music of the soul

the music that our savior

intended us to hear

among the trees

deep inside

hiding

all you have to do is just listen

and pray

all i say is

TUЯИ UP TĦΣ MUSiC

Take ME!

can you hear me. is anyone around me. that feels the way that i feel now. cuz from the window where i sometimes cry i just wanna see your face tonight and im willing to lost everything i am.. cuz i need you more than ever. i need your help to find where ive been going wrong so far.. take me under your wing tonight. make me so perfect in your eyes. hold on cuz it will be alright. you're not alone. when you hear me. i feel like i just found me. and the traces of the boy from yesterday. but in a world that is so black and white. i will take the steps to change my life and i wont be coming back to here again. and i need your loving hand to guide me. through the maze of all the things inside me. then ill know im alright. cuz i need you more than ever. i need your help to find where ive been going wrong so far. take me under your wings tonight. make me so perfect in your eyes. hold on and it will be alright. youre not alone.. please help me get from worse to better. before these tears soak through this lonely sweater please let me know that im alright. i still have one strike on this match left and im holding on to my last breath. and its getting a little dark around this here. take me under your wing tonight. make me so perfect in your eyes. hold on cuz it will be alright. youre not alone.......

DUMB

So. Gods playing field is the dumbest game ever. it looked interesting so i decided to try it. turns out it was a waste of 5 minutes of my life. It starts out with a man going up to heaven to figure out why his friend died. he says to GOD"my friend died and he didnt do anything wrong." All of a sudden God just passes out. what is he in the game narcoleptic. God doesn't sleep. Then the "visitor" goes to the computer that God has. and starts browsing and finds an icon titled "Gods Playing Field" and starts to play killing people left and right unlocking new weapons to use. with the final one being a nuke which destroyes earth. where is the fun!? Hate this game!

Creeped

So. i had the most terrifying experience of my life on thurs night.. i went to my cousins to see my uncle and then after me and my friend went to the gas station to get gas so he could bring me home. this was like 10 at night. nbd. well he forgot his wallet so i stayed behind at the gas station so he wasn't "stealing" gas. how ironic when after about 5 minuts i was face down in an isle waiting for it to end. a guy in a hoodie and baseball cap and bandanna came in with a crobar. angry and scared i layed there hoping it would end soon. very soon they rushed out the door when they realized the silent alarm had been tripped. Thank God Nothing bad happened. still scared out of my mind though/

Well. Today is the day> LIKE THE DAY! IM SOOO STOKED!

lets have a party in a van or car or whatever! LOL TOO EXCITED TO EVEN THINK!

Today officially sucked. it started out good then i had to work and then now im sitting here bored with noone. i asked so many people to hang out tonight because my mom wont let me go to vermillion to hang out with my cousins. so here i am sitting thinking of who is and who isnt a true friend. not many for me right now thats for sure. everyone blew me off.Great Day Right

Super man is totally awesome so i totally decided to draw him. here he is. i took a pic off the internet and kinda sorta just looked and drew lol. what is that called?

I hate life right now. not because of a ton of things but just the fact that im kinda in a hole. my best friend just left for iraq today. and i didnt even know until last night. if i could just go back in time and make sure i got to say goodbye the right way i would feel so much better. i cannot control what happens from here. that is in Gods hands. He is the only one with absolute control. all i can do is pray. I hope he comes back. alive

have you ever felt like just rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about nothing! its like your going insane but yet the sanity is just hiding behind the walnut on a stick inside that hollow membrane you call a skull. Truthfully. it is rather empty up in that noggin because you have no idea at all of what to write about or what to think about so you just babble. on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on like there is no tomorrow. so lets just say we as a body are so dumb that well this is what we do. we BLOG. just rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and noone can judge us. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! so im going to go feed my dog now. she needs her daily feast. gosh shes fat. oh well what can we do. ill just blog about it some more later. oh yes. how fascinating!

meter without rhyme

Ive been thinking alot about some things that are bugging me. I have a few friends who are hurting severly and i want to make their pain stop but i cant. im not superman or anything. but i want them to be happy. i want them to see them the way i see them. i want them to see how strong they are how amazing they make me feel how how beautiful they really are. all 4 of them are in a lot of pain because of past issues. i want to make it stop but no matter how hard i try i feel like im hurting them more. and i just want to say sorry if i am. i just wanna walk right up and give all of you a big fat hug. just to let you know your on my mind and i actually do Care about you guys. have you ever found it so hard to be happy when your closest friends are unhappy? its like a chill going down the spine. constant shiver. or even like a yawn. extremely contagious. this pain that you feel will end one day. when we all get tired of this life and feel its getting close to the end of our journey. but still you will remain on the earth with nothing to look forward to but Heaven and Gods amazing presence around you. Its like i already feel him. Thickening this air that i breath.(thank you flyleaf)

Searing pain

sliced deep upon my skin

cold blade

drawing crimson tears from deep within

tainted needles

dazed in the clouds

burning nostrils

taking us down

why.

why do we torture ourselves

when the only way out

is heaven or hell

why would you choose the easy way out

why choose the road most taken

let go of your heart

give it to HIM

let HIM take it

He is the way

He is the truth

He is the life

HIS omnipresent breast supports us

and cradles our every need

the life He has given us

i can now see

as a gift

of love

that i will share

though my words could never

yes never

explain the meaning

of this love

just open up and let it run throught your veins

let it go. give up the pain

let him bear your cross

give him your shame

WE are HIS

FOREVER!

having a bad. day

i dont know why but i feel severely depressed. is it because im torn between two things as natural as oxygen and water?

i really wish i could choose one thing that i want but cant. it tears me apart.

two things i want but can only Afford one.

good day gone down the toilet.

any ideas>

any one just want to talk about stuff anything at all would be nice.

i dont care what we talk about just find something that wont anger me or hurt anyones feelings. it sucks Balls and Wieners. BLAHH1

to end on a better note good news, should make me happy tomorrow and other too!

so totally random

So i have a follower who i refer to as the bomb digity. shes my only follower but one of my coolest friends that i love sooo much lol. i applaud her for her hard work in life. she is a hard workin person so i decided i would write a poem for her. this is a non creepy poem. i promise

Eyes bright as day

pupils smiling like the flowers

open wide

following the sun

waiting for the warmth of its rays

happiness.

depression.

emotion always present.

shes human

what can you say

but just to buy

one more day

to my bff

yet bff is just a word

that could never describe what it really means

to meghan

my favorite friend

and still to this day

i have no clue why.

im glad ive got the time :)

:P

u da bomb yo~!!!!!!

i sit here. wide awake once again wondering why the sleep wont come. i ponder my options. do i feel guilt? anger? fear? or am i just laying here because sleep just isnt necessary. what to say what to do? what to think... if i could just sleep. Its like the humming has returned. i wrote a note on facebook that i am going to past to this maybe explaining why i cant sleep.

Excuse the last few notes. this was written a long time ago.

lately i have been thinking about how i want to live my life. I've been trying to decipher this code in my mind of who i can always keep and trust and who i can never live without. its like a low hum in the back of my mind. Sometimes as the silence grows the hum gets louder. Preventing me from a good nights sleep. As i grow more tired of this hum i try to ignore it and go to sleep. only to wake up to a high pitched whistling fading into this hum. last night again i could not sleep and a read a passage in the bible.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.

I drifted to sleep as the numbers on the clock fade from 11:59 to 12:00. No whistling no humming just the sound of my breathing and my heart slowly beating in the night. Something was not right in my heart and mind. I don't know what it was but yet somehow i got to sleep.

july 22
its been a few days since then. i have had a good night sleep every night since then. I no longer feel a pit in my stomach or confusion in my mind. how beautiful the words of god are. He heals the broken in hear and binds up their wounds!

july 23rd
not so great sleep last night.... i finally got to a point where i got at least 6 hrs.. and last night i got 1... stupid humming birds are back.. and i dont know for how long.....

The First

This. is. my. first. blog. for. this. site.

Ive never really given much thought to anything before. well a few things but right now they arent important. accept for one. that is. the most important one. the thought that constantly crosses my mind. Who? Who do I want to be surrounded by? well lets keep it simple. I dont want be in the middle of anything. i wanna be me in and out no matter who i am with. accept that for what i am for who i am. Dont make me Change for anyone. but for the sake of me and my GOD!

Thank you and have a nice day. I will have to make it a habit to write in here at least once ever day or every other day

Today was a good day

i saw someone smile and that just made my whole entire day at school. so i decided to write this poem

Behind these tears is potential

happiness in the least

that hides in the darkness

a smile lurking in the mystery behind her eyes

beautiful and grey and they seem

yet in the blinding shade

there still hides a light

a hint of happiness covered up

by none other than sin

smile sunshine

you look beautiful today