Creeped

So. i had the most terrifying experience of my life on thurs night.. i went to my cousins to see my uncle and then after me and my friend went to the gas station to get gas so he could bring me home. this was like 10 at night. nbd. well he forgot his wallet so i stayed behind at the gas station so he wasn't "stealing" gas. how ironic when after about 5 minuts i was face down in an isle waiting for it to end. a guy in a hoodie and baseball cap and bandanna came in with a crobar. angry and scared i layed there hoping it would end soon. very soon they rushed out the door when they realized the silent alarm had been tripped. Thank God Nothing bad happened. still scared out of my mind though/

Well. Today is the day> LIKE THE DAY! IM SOOO STOKED!

lets have a party in a van or car or whatever! LOL TOO EXCITED TO EVEN THINK!

Today officially sucked. it started out good then i had to work and then now im sitting here bored with noone. i asked so many people to hang out tonight because my mom wont let me go to vermillion to hang out with my cousins. so here i am sitting thinking of who is and who isnt a true friend. not many for me right now thats for sure. everyone blew me off.Great Day Right

Super man is totally awesome so i totally decided to draw him. here he is. i took a pic off the internet and kinda sorta just looked and drew lol. what is that called?

I hate life right now. not because of a ton of things but just the fact that im kinda in a hole. my best friend just left for iraq today. and i didnt even know until last night. if i could just go back in time and make sure i got to say goodbye the right way i would feel so much better. i cannot control what happens from here. that is in Gods hands. He is the only one with absolute control. all i can do is pray. I hope he comes back. alive

have you ever felt like just rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about nothing! its like your going insane but yet the sanity is just hiding behind the walnut on a stick inside that hollow membrane you call a skull. Truthfully. it is rather empty up in that noggin because you have no idea at all of what to write about or what to think about so you just babble. on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on like there is no tomorrow. so lets just say we as a body are so dumb that well this is what we do. we BLOG. just rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and noone can judge us. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! so im going to go feed my dog now. she needs her daily feast. gosh shes fat. oh well what can we do. ill just blog about it some more later. oh yes. how fascinating!

meter without rhyme

Ive been thinking alot about some things that are bugging me. I have a few friends who are hurting severly and i want to make their pain stop but i cant. im not superman or anything. but i want them to be happy. i want them to see them the way i see them. i want them to see how strong they are how amazing they make me feel how how beautiful they really are. all 4 of them are in a lot of pain because of past issues. i want to make it stop but no matter how hard i try i feel like im hurting them more. and i just want to say sorry if i am. i just wanna walk right up and give all of you a big fat hug. just to let you know your on my mind and i actually do Care about you guys. have you ever found it so hard to be happy when your closest friends are unhappy? its like a chill going down the spine. constant shiver. or even like a yawn. extremely contagious. this pain that you feel will end one day. when we all get tired of this life and feel its getting close to the end of our journey. but still you will remain on the earth with nothing to look forward to but Heaven and Gods amazing presence around you. Its like i already feel him. Thickening this air that i breath.(thank you flyleaf)

Searing pain

sliced deep upon my skin

cold blade

drawing crimson tears from deep within

tainted needles

dazed in the clouds

burning nostrils

taking us down

why.

why do we torture ourselves

when the only way out

is heaven or hell

why would you choose the easy way out

why choose the road most taken

let go of your heart

give it to HIM

let HIM take it

He is the way

He is the truth

He is the life

HIS omnipresent breast supports us

and cradles our every need

the life He has given us

i can now see

as a gift

of love

that i will share

though my words could never

yes never

explain the meaning

of this love

just open up and let it run throught your veins

let it go. give up the pain

let him bear your cross

give him your shame

WE are HIS

FOREVER!

having a bad. day

i dont know why but i feel severely depressed. is it because im torn between two things as natural as oxygen and water?

i really wish i could choose one thing that i want but cant. it tears me apart.

two things i want but can only Afford one.

good day gone down the toilet.

any ideas>

any one just want to talk about stuff anything at all would be nice.

i dont care what we talk about just find something that wont anger me or hurt anyones feelings. it sucks Balls and Wieners. BLAHH1

to end on a better note good news, should make me happy tomorrow and other too!

so totally random

So i have a follower who i refer to as the bomb digity. shes my only follower but one of my coolest friends that i love sooo much lol. i applaud her for her hard work in life. she is a hard workin person so i decided i would write a poem for her. this is a non creepy poem. i promise

Eyes bright as day

pupils smiling like the flowers

open wide

following the sun

waiting for the warmth of its rays

happiness.

depression.

emotion always present.

shes human

what can you say

but just to buy

one more day

to my bff

yet bff is just a word

that could never describe what it really means

to meghan

my favorite friend

and still to this day

i have no clue why.

im glad ive got the time :)

:P

u da bomb yo~!!!!!!

i sit here. wide awake once again wondering why the sleep wont come. i ponder my options. do i feel guilt? anger? fear? or am i just laying here because sleep just isnt necessary. what to say what to do? what to think... if i could just sleep. Its like the humming has returned. i wrote a note on facebook that i am going to past to this maybe explaining why i cant sleep.

Excuse the last few notes. this was written a long time ago.

lately i have been thinking about how i want to live my life. I've been trying to decipher this code in my mind of who i can always keep and trust and who i can never live without. its like a low hum in the back of my mind. Sometimes as the silence grows the hum gets louder. Preventing me from a good nights sleep. As i grow more tired of this hum i try to ignore it and go to sleep. only to wake up to a high pitched whistling fading into this hum. last night again i could not sleep and a read a passage in the bible.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.

I drifted to sleep as the numbers on the clock fade from 11:59 to 12:00. No whistling no humming just the sound of my breathing and my heart slowly beating in the night. Something was not right in my heart and mind. I don't know what it was but yet somehow i got to sleep.

july 22
its been a few days since then. i have had a good night sleep every night since then. I no longer feel a pit in my stomach or confusion in my mind. how beautiful the words of god are. He heals the broken in hear and binds up their wounds!

july 23rd
not so great sleep last night.... i finally got to a point where i got at least 6 hrs.. and last night i got 1... stupid humming birds are back.. and i dont know for how long.....

The First

This. is. my. first. blog. for. this. site.

Ive never really given much thought to anything before. well a few things but right now they arent important. accept for one. that is. the most important one. the thought that constantly crosses my mind. Who? Who do I want to be surrounded by? well lets keep it simple. I dont want be in the middle of anything. i wanna be me in and out no matter who i am with. accept that for what i am for who i am. Dont make me Change for anyone. but for the sake of me and my GOD!

Thank you and have a nice day. I will have to make it a habit to write in here at least once ever day or every other day

Today was a good day

i saw someone smile and that just made my whole entire day at school. so i decided to write this poem

Behind these tears is potential

happiness in the least

that hides in the darkness

a smile lurking in the mystery behind her eyes

beautiful and grey and they seem

yet in the blinding shade

there still hides a light

a hint of happiness covered up

by none other than sin

smile sunshine

you look beautiful today